Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Work In Progress

This is one of those days...looked forward to seeing the full moon and we had another cloudy night with rain on the way it was a No See. Only 6a.m. it's a bitch when you wake with other people determined to destroy your harmony and then blame you for it. Son in one of his things again, was at feed barn and crashed, dog left, my mistake was to tell him dinner was ready and ask where the dog was. This is left over from last night as the dog came right to me and he's now being shunned. This is a good day to just chill...allowing that which others put out to just float by me and land where it will cause it's not going to become part of me as my energy. Practice for rising above! Keep coming up with this and know it's just me trying to undo lifetimes of what the world taught me to be = a responsible, compassionate person. Even when others anger me and there's verbal respond the action is compassionate as I can't act to hurt others, yet end up harming myself being unable to detach from their actions which disrupts my tranquility...asked, no told, him to leave and it goes right over his head cause he needs others to depend upon. There is a thing of being overly compassionate, then you become an enabler and your own worse enemy. So Detachment is a Work in Progress!

Last night new tenant wanting to make something out of this robbery next door, told him "drop it" things here are safe with so much activity between him and 1st floor tenant both in and out a few times every day; it's just a poor risk for robbers. Then he says He Wants to put more stone in the driveway cause he's soo clean he can't stand tracking dirt in..Ok I can't quite see this over cleanliness he speaks of but there are doormats, maybe this is a way to avoid vacuuming ?? Whatever floats his boat cause I just can't control the amount of rain creating muddy conditions which means traffic in and out drives the stone deeper each time tires roll over them..this is the country and it is what it is. First he talks me into his dog and cats, then time payments, permission for attic storage, garage space, new lights ~ one thing after another that was not offered with the rental. I'm restraining my urge to tell him he's paying poverty level rent with agreement for work in trade for an up scale quiet country space (allowing pets-most don't anymore) and if he's not satisfied he should go condo where he will get all the amenities and pay through the nose for them, and there will be no trading work for rent cause his wallet is hurting. Mind you this guy has only paid $50 yet towards the one month security payment owed. It's so typical and I'm really annoyed .. but it's my purpose to dig at my human emotions so I work ever harder to detach from their emotionalism to remain in inner harmony. And that's the bite~ Inner Harmony! It's this way with most our human emotions...we exhibit control outwardly, while our inner self emotionalizes differently. This is not Heart Mind thinking... We are taught to be politically and socially correct and to often that is not honest with the world or with ourselves. Some people are brutally honest and hurtful, other bend the opposite way. Neither is balanced creating harmony, both are extremes and the balance point is mid-point. This is where we'll learn to sit in this new cycle energy...Mid-point it is what was called the gray area of indecision, but it's designed in the new cycle energy to be a blending of White and Black, a merging of attitudes, which when merged becomes an entity in itself as Gray the harmonic balance of both Unified....the new cycle energy is UNITY of all things blending in the Heart Mind to harmonize, creating a balance in our experience.

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